New Year's Resolutions

So as my boss left work early today, he said, “See you next decade!” He can be kind of cheesy, I know, but it got me thinking about the New Year and the progression of time.

Every New Year I think about some things. I think just the fact that time passes makes you reflect, especially when forced to consider the passing time, like at this time of year. So of course, there is the common consideration of what we think of ourselves, and what we can change and that’s where resolutions come from.

I like to work with dictionary definitions, and so I looked up the word “resolution” on dictionary.com. Of course there were the definitions we all think of when we hear the word “resolution”, like “a resolve or determination” and “the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc”. But I found some other interesting ones that I thought I’d comment on:

The mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

Seriously, how many people do you know that have that firmness of purpose. I mean, it’s a running joke that most resolutions don’t last. If we really had a firmness of purpose, don’t you think that would be a little different?

The resulting state.

Most of us think of a resolution as a goal, but it’s a little more than that. It’s not just the act of losing weight, for example. I can lose 2 lbs. each week so that I’ve lost a total of 104 lbs. by the end of the year, but if each week I gain 2 lbs. as well, I’m in the exact same boat, right? So the “resolution” we are looking for is not to “lose 104 lbs”, but to “weigh 104 lbs less”. There is definitely a difference.

In Music: The tone or chord to which a dissonance is resolved

I know this has a particular application, but if we think of New Year’s resolutions in terms of that definition, it’s kind of interesting. Essentially, our resolutions should be about creating harmony from dissonance. I love music, and that is actually one of my favorite parts of a song, if done right. It’s the part where all the dissonance is resolved. It’s beautiful.

Reduction to a simpler form; conversion

Life is so busy these days. There are so many things that keep us busy that it is hard to even find a few minutes to think or to listen. We are always talking, texting, listening to mp3 players, running errands, watching our shows, updating Facebook, tweeting, and emailing (and yes, even updating blogs!). It takes a lot of discipline to put some of those things down and simplify our lives. Perhaps some good resolutions would be to put away some of this stuff and give your time and energy to something vastly more valuable, like listening, being there for friends, or giving service.

All that being said, I still haven’t made any official resolutions yet. These definitions have certainly given me a little more to think about if I decide to.

Growing Up

Maybe I'm not speaking for the majority here, but it sure seems like a lot of things lose their magic as you grow up.

I remember the days when I was just a kid and it would snow and I couldn't wait to go play in it? I remember going outside and playing in the snow until every inch of my body was just so cold. Then I'd come inside, peel off my wet clothes and put on something warm. I remember it so well that I can almost feel my skin burning when the feeling would start to come back. I remember one time we got a big snow storm when I was off track and home alone. I was determined to make the biggest snowman ever. I rolled a snowball around and around, until I couldn't move it any further. I wasn't really thinking, though, because I was pretty disappointed to realize that the snow ball was so big that I'd never get another smaller one up on top of it. So I started trying to think what I could do with a giant snowball like that. I went inside and grabbed a butter knife, of all things, and started carving away. The finished product? A snow chair. That's about all that my artistic non-ability would allow for. I wish I had a picture. I remember being determined to sit in that chair until my sisters walked home from the bus stop. I can't even remember if I did that, but I remember thinking how awesome that would be. Now, when it snows, the first two thoughts in my head have to do with traffic and snow shoveling. What happened to those days of the snow chair and giant snowmen?

I don't remember doing this, but my mom tells me that another time, my parents came home and found a neat little pile of outlet/switch plates. I had taken a screwdriver and carefully removed a bunch of them. Not sure how old I was. If I even consider removing one of those plates anymore, it usually is because something needs to be replaced, rewired, or at a minimum, inspected.

So a lot changes as you grow up and have more and more experience with life, more responsibilities, and let's face it, more of life's challenges. However, I honestly believe that the magic never goes away. The look on a child’s face when they look out the window at the newly fallen snow, the random smile from my wife, and the amazement that I have been blessed with so much. Sure, with all of that comes the extra responsibility, but even that is magical…that someone thought I was responsible enough to handle it.

Holiday thoughts

Ah, I was doing so well (not that a sampling of four posts is an overall indicator), and now it's been like two weeks. Lest anyone think otherwise, just want to say that I've had plenty to think about. I just haven't written any of it down. So here's one thing that I've been thinking about during this holiday:

Holidays and vacations are hard as the parent. Don't get me wrong. As cheesy as it sounds, the rewards of all the work (for example, watching the kids be excited and all that) outweigh the work itself. Here's the funny part: I don't think I put in nearly as much effort getting ready for these things as my wife does. I love that she wants everything perfect for our kids, and she tries really hard to keep it that way.

If I had realized when I was younger what it was like to be a parent, I hope I would have been a little more grateful for all my parents did for me. I am especially grateful for a mom who selflessly stepped up to the plate at a very difficult time in her life and played more than one parental role. As with everything my mother tries to do, she did a fantastic job at it.

I hope I can emulate my wife and my parents (and countless other examples) in being a good spouse/parent. I sometimes worry that the more I involve myself in my children's lives, the more screwed up they'll be. The worst thing I can think of, though, is to have the kids look back and say stuff like "I wish dad would have [fill in the blank]" instead of "Remember when dad [fill in the blank]".

Talents

I taught a Sunday School lesson about developing our talents. I asked what a talent is, and after a bit, someone defined it as a gift. Someone else said "it's something you have to bless and help others." I love the combination of these two answers. Later, someone else said you need to actively seek additional talents, especially where you might find weaknesses in your life.

I thought I'd take a few minutes to just talk about some of the talents of others that I see and admire in them.

First and foremost, my wife. There are volumes that could be written on her talents and abilities, so I'll try to keep this brief. I think first off, I am extremely impressed with her abilities with children. She can think of new tricks all the time to keep kids interested. They love and trust her. She also has miles of patience with them. I am so grateful that she gets to stay home and raise our children. She is so committed to providing them the best experiences she can. Something else I admire in her is her work ethic. She's always been a hard worker. Much more could be said on this topic, but I'll sum it up this way. Honestly, if as a teenager, you had asked me to describe characteristics of my perfect future wife, I don't think I could have even described a better person than her.

Some other talents that I have seen and admire in other people:
-genuine love and concern for others
-the ability to make everyone around you to feel loved and comfortable
-the ability to forgive
-devotion and loyalty, especially to that which is right
-friendship
-courage
-faith
-teaching
-learning
-persistence to complete a task

There are many more, but that's just a quick example of some things that I've noticed.

I'd just like to take a second and thank everyone out there for sharing their talents. You've changed lives. Funny thing is, there are some of you out there who will make the biggest impact without having a clue that you're even doing it.

So, thanks. And don't forget to share and develop yours. And find new ones.

E for Effort

So I had a rather brief conversation with my wife today regarding effort, but it got me thinking, so I thought I'd share.

She was doing something the hard way (or rather in a way that I deemed to be more difficult than another). As I sat there and watched her, I started to be a little critical. My bad. Anyway, I started explaining how MY way was better because it accomplished the same end result with less effort, something I would define as being more EFFICIENT. I've often said my mindset is good for a programmer because I look for easy ways to solve problems. Anyway, all she said at this point is something along the lines of "what's wrong with a little bit of effort?"

Touché.

So that's what got me thinking a bit. Is it WRONG, as I often portray, to expend a little extra effort on something? No. In fact, there are certain benefits that go along with that extra effort. The end result means more to us because we actually sacrificed something to get it. If we sail through without really putting forth any effort, and have things handed to us our whole lives, we probably won't appreciate it as much, and we certainly won't learn the value of hard work.

My wife is such an example of hard work and effort. When she wants to do something, she gives it all she can. I would do just enough to get by or make it passable, but she puts in the extra effort to make sure that whatever she's doing is the best it can be.

Time

When I first started thinking about the topic of time, I was thinking my first sentence would be "I wish I had more of it", or "I have so much to do, and not enough time in which to do it". However, when I thought a little more about this topic, I decided to start it a little differently. So here goes:

I wish I was better at managing it. It's kind of silly to wonder what life would be like if we all had 36 hour days or 8-9 days in a week, because we all know that's not going to happen. We all have the same 24 hours every day. It's what we choose to do with it that we can change.

Those who know me well have probably heard me rant a little bit about the sense of entitlement that seems prevalent in teenagers these days. Well, I had a somewhat shocking realization today. I too feel a bit of that 'entitlement' when it comes to time. I guess I just sometimes feel like my time is MINE, and I should get to spend a chunk of it (even if it's a small chunk) doing stuff I WANT TO DO. Problem is, that's not a great attitude.

Well, a little perspective helps, so I started to look at all the things that compete for my time, I realize how blessed I am to have a beautiful wife who I LOVE spending time with (who also, by the way, doesn't have this problem. Day after day she devotes all her time to the kids and me). I have 4 wonderful children who are elated to have even a tiny slice of my time. I am blessed to have a decent job which pays the bills. Church callings and opportunities abound. With all of these things that I'm so grateful for, is it really as hard to spend my time on these most important things as I often make it?

Only time will tell.

Why I caved

So I've never been good at keeping a journal. I've wanted to, but just like so many other things I want to do, I just never seem to get around to it. Bummer.

So after quite some time of reading my wife's blog, and some of the things about our family that she's documented, I think...cool, someone else is doing that for me! :) I'm kidding... sort of.

Anyway, sometimes I just have random thoughts or ideas that I'd like to share. Most of the time they aren't so intensely personal that I'd need to have them secretly hidden somewhere under lock and key. In fact, they are often things I would want to share. So, living in this wonderful digital information-accessible world, of course I thought, "I know, I'll start a blog".

Having said that, I'm not under any illusions that my blog will be intensely followed or widely read. I'm just happy that I can get that stuff out there. I expect there will be L O N G and short posts, funny and serious posts (although admittedly probably not seriously funny posts). I have no plans to keep to a theme. I doubt there will be much by way of pictures and video, although you never really know. I won't be changing the background with the seasons. That's not me. Rambling on about random subjects? Yeah, that has me written all over it.