Mothers

So this is a blog about things that I'm thinking about, right? Well, as so often happens, I need someone or something to remind me what I should already be doing or thinking about. So of course, on Mother's Day, I spent a fair chunk of time thinking about Mothers.

Mothers, in general, are amazing. They grew up wanting to just have cute little babies and take care of them and nurture them and be proud of them. They get married, and want to start their family. They carry that baby for 9 months or so, giving up so much (being pregnant, from my observation, is no picnic), and then they go through the most beautiful, odd, painful process that I've ever seen (and I was just there with my meager contribution of a few encouraging words and a hand to hold). They then proceed to give up sleep, a hot meal (it's always cold by the time the kids have been served), personal time and space, and just about everything they know as "normal". Most of the time, they do it lovingly, with a smile on their face, and knowing that they will have to do it at least 364 more times in the next year. This sacrifice is only more poignant because they don't really get any awards, or very much recognition. It doesn't advance any career aspirations, and they don't get paid for it. There is one meager day on the calendar that reminds us that it is Mother's Day, and more often than not, at least in the case of my lameness, it sneaks up faster than I am prepared for.

So why do they do it? Well, sometimes all it takes is is a little smile, or somthing funny that one of the kids says, or without the kids knowing she's listening, she hears the kids playing nicely together. She sees her child do one nice thing for someone else (doesn't even have to be her), and her heart swells with pride. That kind of stuff gives her motivation. Sometimes, she gets down, and then her two-year-old wants nothing more than to "nuggle" with his mom. Even though she wishes that he would just want to "nuggle" with dad, or brother sometimes, she is also secretly very happy that he likes her best. Or maybe she is trying to get some work done, and her 5-year-old, without being prompted, wants to help. Sure, it'd be faster if she could just do it herself, but it makes her smile that he would rather spend time with her than play a video game, watch tv, or jump on the trampoline, even if it's only for 15-30 minutes. Or perhaps it is her 6-year-old daughter who tries to do "girly" things with mom because they are the only girls in the family, and they have to watch out for each other. Mom just loves it after spending a bunch of time "prettying her up", and then sees her daughter looking in the mirror, admiring how girly and pretty she looks. Or maybe it's the 8-year-old, who will hear the two-year-old being really upset (possibly because mom won't "nuggle" right at that moment because she's busy making dinner or something like that), and without being asked, takes time to try to not only distract the 2-year-old, but play with him and be silly with him until he's laughing his guts out. Just because he wants to help. And at this age, it really is help.

This stuff is the stuff that moms live for. It may come as a few moments here and there out of long periods of not-so-fun cleaning, teaching, helping, doing, washing, shopping, cooking, or planning. There may be long stretches of thanklessness, laziness, and procrastination (and that's just from the husband!) that she has to deal with in between these brief gems. But to mom, it's all worth it in the end.

Moms are amazing. I need to be more grateful and helpful to the mother of my children. She deserves it. And I'm sorry to my own mom that there weren't more "gems" from me for her to enjoy when I was a child. Ah well, the things we learn as we grow up, especially from our moms!

Love to all the mothers out there. Know that we (kids and dads) really do love and appreciate you every moment of every day, even if we suck at showing it.