I Have A Bad Memory

I don't really have a very good memory for a lot of things. I'm not good with names. If I didn't keep an updated calendar, I would forget a lot of events. I don't even remember a lot of past events with all that much clarity.

So believe me when I say that I'm a prime candidate for forgetting important dates and events.

However, I have to say that there are a few dates that remain fixed in my head and I can't even fathom forgetting them (even though I might forget to actually do something about these dates). See, a lot of important dates I remember sort of hit-and-miss. Like someone says the date and I think "it seems like something is special about that date" or something like that. These ones, though, are different. There's no pause in the thought process while I try to figure out why that date sounds familiar. It just comes immediately to my mind. Like that date is forever tied to that event, no matter what else happens on that date.

I guess most of those dates are life-long events. Dates I've celebrated my whole life, every year on that date. Some of those dates are:

• January 1st. New Year's Day. A new beginning. This year's gonna be different. Forgetting to write the new year for the first few weeks (at least) of the year, because you've been writing last year's year for a whole year!
• 4th of July. Cause, you know, it's CALLED the 4th of July and it HAPPENS on the 4th of July.
• December 24th & 25th. Christmas Eve & Christmas Day. This has always been a magical, great time of year (some people even say it's the MOST WONDERFUL TIME of the year).
• August 5th. My birthday. Or the anniversary of my natal day, as my grandpa would call it. See, I've been celebrating that day for my whole life. It came with great excitement and anticipation when I was young. (I think part of the reason I like my birthday is that I'm just arrogant enough to think I deserve my own holiday, and that's about as close as it gets.)

But here's the thing. There are a few dates that change us. They are NOT dates we have associated with certain events for our whole lives, yet somehow they end up being just as clearly tied to those events as the life-long ones.

Some of the dates that change us are publicly tragic events, like September 11th. Will anyone ever be able to say "September 11th" without many of us thinking about the World Trade Center? Others are privately tragic events, like June 28th, the day I lost my dad.

Other dates that change us are dates when something wonderful happens. It's not hard for me to remember, for example, my kids' birthdays. Such a blessing to see each of those special children be born into our family. Or my anniversary. September 21st. The cloudy/intermittently-rainy day that Rhoda and I were sealed for eternity in the Salt Lake Temple.


So why this post on this particular day? It's not a birthday or a wedding anniversary. It's not a widely-celebrated holiday.

It is a celebration of an extremely pivotal day in my life, though. Let me set the stage:

It was the year 2000. I was working at Discover Card, hating my job as a phone sales guy, but it paid some bills and was pretty flexible, which were very desirable traits in a job because I was going to school. In fact, I had just finished up my first semester of post-mission college. I would try to spend as much time as humanly possible with my favorite person in the whole world, Rhoda. We'd even talked a little about getting married, without any real specifics. Much to her dismay, I would always be on the lookout to try to surprise her (she's not a big fan of surprises). Verlene, Rhoda's sister (and roommate at the time), was always game for covert missions to assist in these surprises. Thanks to another successful mission, I was able to even get Rhoda's ring size without her suspecting a thing (at least not that she's ever admitted to). I searched and searched for rings. I went to several stores, and tried to imagine a ring that Rhoda would love and WANT to wear for the rest of her life (and not just because of what it symbolized. I also wanted her to love it on it's own merit as a piece of jewelry). I knew when I found it that it was the one. I was so excited. I made my plans.

I don't remember why, but we were going up to her parents' house in Idaho for some reason (was that the fateful "Sedgwick Yellowstone Trip"?), so we scheduled the time off work. I suggested that just for fun, we go up to this picnic area up one of the canyons that I had heard her talk about a number of times. So we picked up Subway sandwiches and headed up the canyon to Moss Ledge. We picked the highest of the picnic tables. We ate and had good conversation. It was beautiful up there. No wonder it was her favorite place. As things were winding down, I was getting more and more nervous. Finally, when Rhoda was I'm sure thinking "why don't we just leave already, we've been here forever!", I knelt down and proposed. I think it surprised her. And, to my relief, she actually said yes!

Ever since then, June 16th will always be etched in my mind as one of those days that changed my life. Literally forever. We try each year on that day (or close to it) to go up to Moss Ledge (or close to it) with our Subway sandwiches. It's a family event. The kids love to go too. Each time we go, I survey the scene and remember back to one of the most important days of my entire life.

And so today, weather-permitting, we're headed up to the canyon with our Subway sandwiches. And I will remember and reflect on the joy and excitement of that memorable September 16th from 11 years ago.

Thanks, Rhoda, for changing my life 11 years ago, and pretty much every day since. I love you more than you could know.